I'm disappointed I haven't checked out more of the Top 50 songs, Top 10 films or whatever or 2011.
And, I'm coming up on 61 hours as a non-smoker. And I've hated pretty much every moment. Why am I doing this again? If I don't make it back to the UK I have no reason to want to prolong my life. Of the three reasons I can think of, better skin and whiter teeth are two of those reasons. (Saving money is the third.) Antisociability and smelliness never affected me. In fact, in my circles of friends, being a non-smoker is more antisocial. I never gave a shit about having to go outside! I don't care what anyone thought of me as a smoker, never felt like my health was worsened, and don't have any immediate family members/friends with cancer or other health scares. I feel like a sucker, to be quite honest.
But hey, I'm entitled to a sleep, and at least 72 hours will be the first milestone (fewer cravings, even if detoxing could bring pain for some weeks yet). I've felt downright depressed, missed work yesterday due to feeling too depressed to get out of bed and was nearly in tears several times. I'm honestly asking myself why I'm bothering to do this, do I even want this enough? Maybe I'll stick with it just to be contrary.
Happy Bloody New Year!
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