I feel awful about smoking, as I have done on the other occasions when I've 'cheated'. Today has been worse because I've had FOUR! I know exactly why though, Saturday night to last night (Wednesday) I had weed, so I was getting tobacco then. As work as been slow I haven't given a shit about smoking during the day! However, I've smoked today after the weed ran out.
I don't want to pick up smoking again.
But after the initial 'I'm NOT going to smoke', and then getting used to it, I've got a higher level of nicotine and tar in my body now.
I only bought cigarettes to go with the weed. I think I've only got one left now. I DIDN'T chew any Nicorette today, I think I thought it best to save what few I have for tomorrow and Saturday to get over NO more tobacco.
This isn't wise, healthy or non-smoker behaviour.... I know I can withstand it under normal circumstances (i.e. throughout the normal day), but I think I'll have to re-steel myself. Back to the websites with the diseased lung pictures and stories of family deaths!
Damn weed! (Though I won't go without it! Curse the fact that it's SO difficult to find in Chile!) I'll have to buy a pipe!
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