Jokes

"Jesus loves you." A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison. I'm not saying my new sex doll is too realistic, but it cries after I fuck it. I Googled "Gary Oldman" and got some pretty disturbing images - he's really let himself go, I thought. Then I realised I'd left the "R" out. Apart from humans, the only animal that enjoys having sex is a dolphin. I had to shag a LOT of animals to find that out. As I sat down next to a bloke on the bus he gave me a really strange look. "That's typical," I thought. "The bus is empty and yet I still end up sitting next to a fucking nutcase."